Monday, October 10, 2011

universal truth about love

I've found there are very universal truths about love...

It will happen when you least expect it.
Like discovering something awful sounding/looking food tastes yummy, or that that taco you had a few hours ago gave you food poisoning.

Example, I joined a dating site looking for friends. Before you beat me to it let me say, “Who the hell joins a dating site looking for friends?!”

Well, this girl of course! *Points thumbs at self*

I’ve met a few people whom I’m now friends with from there. Then I decided to meet with this witty chap one day, and unbeknownst to me, I received a shiny new boyfriend! He came complete with such amenities and features like an education, operational brain, and good sense of humor. I lie to you not when I say he looked at me one night and said, ‘you’re so my girlfriend’, then we were a couple.

It felt like receiving a present you didn’t exactly want at Christmas, like a pair of socks or new underwear. Then you totally appreciate it, the next day or someday, when you realized your laundry is not clean or you wore holes through all your socks and undergarments. GREAT FEELING!

Despite trying, sometimes you can’t help who your heart attaches itself to.
Some women like Prada bags, some chicks dig Vera Bradley, others like hobo bags … personally I have a soft spot for ugly purses. I own one that looks like I pulled the wooly upholstery off a 70’s couch and lined the sides with metallic green material that must have been recycled from a pair of 80’s hooker platform boots.

The thing is we fall for who we fall. My MO is usually funny nerdy guys and chicks with a pompous streak. The mind is so sexy; too bad the ones I meet come with this complex! I’ve fallen for the good looking ones, the bigger ones, the shy ones, the ones with 10,000 holes in their face, jerks, clingers, dependents, independents, and people with more problems than a college calculus final. It just happens.

It’s hard to control the velocity and trajectory of love.
Even aerospace engineers screw up sometimes, and they went to school for this stuff. Google NASA goofs or mess-ups and you’ll see. If you can achieve control over this, you are probably the romantic emotions equivalent of an angry birds master.

Some of my relationships built over years, then faded slowly. Others were quick to ignite and burned out just as fast. My last relationship took a whole week after meeting to officially be a couple. It also went downhill quick too. Like I said, uncontrollable unless you are some sort of zen master.

Love can change.
Like Baskin Robin ice cream flavors, there are many types of love, and the flavors can change often! One minute it can be an intense all-consuming love, and the next minute it’s gone completely off the menu. It can switch between and from intense love, friendly love, deeply passionate love, caring love, devoted love, etc.

I also find that things always change after the ‘honeymoon’ period is over and you really get to know who you’ve fallen in love with. Sure, sometimes it’s good change. You realize you love the true person they are, and maybe you think how they organize their underwear by color, year, and make is really awesome ( Hey whatever rocks your socks! I won’t judge!). Other times you realize their personality and little quirks, like being berated for not decompressing all the air out of the bag of a loaf of bread, will drive you up a wall.

Love will change you.
Emotional connections with people affect who we are and how we act. It can make us a better person, and it can drag us down into a hole; thus turn us into something we want or don’t want to become. This can be both a conscious thing and sub conscious. That is the nature of the beast.

Remember what I said above about the bread? Yeah, it’s one that happened with an ex. I realized after a while I started to squeeze the air out of the bread bag to appease my partner. Sure this was a good habit, it really does help keep the bread fresh longer, but this carried over to other things too. I realized I was changing myself, and I eventually became someone I hated. It’s like that LCD sound system song, ‘I Can Change’. The guy basically falls in love with a person because of who they were, then realizes their partnership is dissolving, so he changes himself to make them fall in love, or stay in love with him.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gathered great hobbies, habits, lessons and insight into myself from love. Just make sure you define how love changes you.

Love brings both happiness and pain.
While love can be expressed through physical acts, Love is not physical, it’s emotional.

One night I got together with a girl just started dating. Oddly enough she wanted to exchange stories about scars. She pointed to one on her knee, and told me how her brother threw an authentic aboriginal boomerang at her. When it was my turn I pointed to a place on my arm.

She cried, “There isn’t a scar there!” I told her,” yes there is … but it’s not one you can see. “

I told her a memory from a past relationship that caused me pain and afterwards I explained to her that ,“ the most painful scars aren’t the ones you can’t see, they’re the emotional ones.”

Then she pointed to another spot without a scar and asked about that one. I told her the story of the first night she asked me on a date and how happy it made me feel to be wanted by this beautiful woman. So I said that, “ the same goes for happiness, we can see it physically expressed through actions but we can’t see the emotion. We can only walk around with these great memories and share them with others.”

Just remember, the memories we remember best are the ones attached to great emotion. I think that’s why love affects us so profoundly. We are human; we experience joy, laughter, sadness and hurt … but we heal, we move forward and we still love regardless. That is a wonderful thing.

Sometimes love is not enough.
Ever get to point in a relationship where you go, “ I love you but if I have to be around you one more second I’m going to do you bodily harm?” I’ve had a few of those … everyone has had those moments.

Love isn’t perfect, we will all have our bad days, drive each other crazy, and have disagreements. But when a relationship between two people goes bad, then sometimes love really isn’t enough.

Sometimes it hits you that the person you love may not feel the same for you, makes you unhappy, might cheat on you, prevent you from being you, hurts you in anyway continuously; despite how much you love them, you need to realize you might have to walk away. If the person you are with isn’t happy, or you are hurting them more by being with them, then sometimes you need to let them go as well.

I loved a man very much, and he loved me as well. Sure, he was kind, fun, smart, someone I enjoyed hanging out with, but things just started to fall apart. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t me. I got tired of trying to make things work. So one day, enough was enough. It hurt, sometimes it still does.

Walking away from someone you love hurts. Sometimes letting go of someone one who loves you hurts too. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, and sometimes them. Love can be as easy as holding a hand, and kissing someone goodnight. It also can be as hard as walking away knowing your heart only beats for them.

Love is more than just a romantic relationship. 
I bet you there is something out there you love that’s not just a partner, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. It can be the job you do, a hobby, a friend, a pet, a child, maybe you love collecting stuffed llamas ( who am I to say what you do or don't love). The Greeks had names for the different types of love, because love isn’t confined to just one definition or situation.

I love art, I love socializing with others, I love traveling, I love Ben and Jerry’s (ok maybe not love it but like it a lot!). I say love because these are things so deeply embedded in me … I just don’t like them, I really do love them with about as much and most times more than a partner. This is the type of love that is life devotion, and makes you who you are.

At the end of the day, we may lose a romantic partner or we may find one, but remember there are other things and people you love. The most important love of your life you’ll ever have is love for yourself. Love you.

And accept that love is.


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Hijabers Community - 1st Islamic Study

Hijabers Community.

From Indonesia With Love.



How are you doing? I know it has been a long time since my last entry. Kind of busy lately.

Actually today I would like to share something with all of you. Especially for those who wear hijab. Saya rasa ia sangat2 lah menarik. Setahu saya kat Malaysia we have 'The Scarflets' if i'm not mistaken. But, in Indonesia diorang pun ada their own hijab community. They called it 'Hijabers Community'. And i think they awesome and unique. The way diorang wear hijab, mix and match so unique. And diorang pun ada icon fashion muslimah tersendiri. Like in Malaysia kita ada Shea Rasol, Maria Elena, Ami Schaheera, Jezmine Blossom, Yuna dan tak lupa The Scarflets and many more. So, kat Indonesia pun diorg ada icon fashion muslimah mereka sendiri like Dian Pelangi, Jenahara, Ina Rovi, Inas Scarf, Ashfi Qamara etc.

So, why don't you guys check out their blog/web. Jom kita pelbagai kan lagi Fashion Muslimah and Hijab kat Malaysia ni. Even kita pakai hijab, we still can look gorgeous+awesome. Am i right? Go Hijabers!

Now lets the picture do the talking.


Hijabers Community

Hijabers Community

Dian Pelangi

Dian Pelangi


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

3 yrs old “Mommy, I love you.”
13 yrs old “Mom, whatever!
16 yrs old: “My mom is so annoying!
18 yrs old “I wanna leave this house.”
25 yrs old: “Mom, you were right
30 yrs old “I want to go back to my Mom’s house”.
50 yrs old: “I don’t want to lose my mom.”
70 yrs old: “I would give up EVERYTHING for my mom to be here..with me.”
I may not always say how thankful I am for all your efforts for me, but believe me mom I really thank you for everything. Thank you for being a part of my life!
Mom, you’re irreplaceable:)
I love you!
 I’m always 3 years old with this.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

i'm the girl....

I'm the girl who tries to be nice to everyone then gets taken advantage of. I'm the girl who tries to look pretty and it's never good enough. I'm the girl who acts like she's happy then goes home and wishes to be gone. I'm the girl who takes harsh words act like they're nothing then goes home and cries. I'm the girl who tries to get her point across and could never find the right words. I'm the girl who has more depth to her then everyone thinks. I'm the girl who hides from the harsh eyes. I'm the girl who wouldn't care if you gave me a shitty gift as long as you thought of me. I'm the girl that prays that someone will finally understand. I'm the girl that gets happy over the little things. I'm the girl that people misinterpret.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

never say never

My life has been short but I have already learned quite a bit about love... Not through personal experience, but more through seeing others I know love. Some love and lose, some lose someone they might have loved and luckily some love each other forever. I think about that one or many loves constantly, always hoping I don't miss my chance. My fear of never finding that love has made me create an unattainable goal in my head: find the perfect guy you will find the perfect relationship and you will get the perfect life. That whole scenario is what I've been looking for.

But I have realized that kind of perfectness does not exist in a person. It exists in a connection, a relationship. That is what love is. Love is that person who isn't necessarily perfect, but it perfect for you.

They say real love comes when you aren't searching for it. I used to think that it was absurd to say that because most everyone is searching for love; and many do find it. But of all those people I know, who I've watched love, though it may not have lasted forever, I've realized one thing. They all loved. There isn't a person I know who could end their life saying they haven't loved. The moment I realized that was the moment I stopped searching. I stopped searching for that perfect guy, for that perfect relationship, for that perfect life.

I've never been in love. But I am waiting for it. No longer searching. Waiting, because I know it will come.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

it's boring

1st wanna say Assalamualaikum... entry nak merapu2 sekali sekala.

almost a month since my last semester end. and it's kind of boring. i mean totally boring. but not that boring. BUT still a big boring to me. ngee... totally missing my friends and college life(hot boys, b-atch, the nerdy and whatsoever). setiap hari always buat benda yang sama. help my mum, do the chores, watch tv etc. that's bored.

the most scary part weight! oh,no! definitely no! FAT? i'm getting FAT. that's so scary ok. everyday motivate diri supaya jangan asyik makan je. but i can't help it. it's mom's cook. you tell me how can you not eat masakan ibu? there is no way. 3 months duduk kampung. can't you imagine how am i gonna look. terrible i guess.haha...but no matter what, i will try my super best to lose some weight and eat little(will i?) insya'allah.


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